Improving Your Relationship to Yourself

The most important person in your world is yourself. You are the person whom you will share your life with. You will be your own partner as you ride the various ups and downs of life, overcome challenges, and follow your dreams. This is why it is so important that we take time to focus on cultivating a healthy and loving relationship with ourselves. 

The truth is, you are already whole and complete exactly as you are. You do not need anyone outside of yourself to complete you, or fulfill you. It is a wonderful part of life to share our wholeness with others, but it is important that we don’t outsource our worth to them. No one will ever be your ‘other half’ because you are already a whole and complete person. 

Once we realize this as the truth, we understand how necessary it is to practice self love and self care. Just as we take time to nurture our relationships with others, we must do the same for the relationship we have with ourselves. 

Read on as I share 3 simple self care activities you can practice to deepen the relationship you have with yourself:

  1. Write yourself a love letter. Carve out at least 15 minutes for yourself and sit down with your journal. Start by addressing the letter to yourself, and then freely write from your heart. Share words of encouragement, support and love with yourself. Honor how far you have come, and allow yourself to be celebrated in this love letter. When you are done, read the letter out loud to yourself and allow the words of love and affirmation to nourish and uplift you. This is a letter that you can go back to time and time again to remember how worthy, lovable, and special you are. 
  2. Get clear on what your needs are. We all have emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. It is so important that we understand our own needs so that we can ensure we are getting what we require in order to feel safe, loved, and nourished. Understanding our needs also helps us to clearly communicate them to others so that we can establish authentic and deeply nourishing relationships where our needs are being consistently met. Having needs is not selfish, rather, it is simply part of being human. You must learn to understand and honor your own needs first so that you can honor and uphold them in your other relationships. Feel free to take some time to write out your mental, physical and spiritual needs. Once you have your list, try to write one way that each of these needs can be met. For example, if one of your spiritual needs is a connection to a higher power, perhaps that need can be met by taking time for daily meditation, or visiting a church service. This is a list that you can share with those closest to you, that way they can understand and support you better.
  3. Treat yourself! Treating yourself is less about mindless consumption or retail therapy, and more about finding ways to make yourself feel special, loved, and valued. Treating yourself can be affordable and easy. Perhaps you’d like to lighten your load on a busy day and treat yourself to a grocery delivery, rather than spending time at the store. Or maybe, it feels like self care to get yourself that special latte and pastry at your favorite cafe every friday. Treating yourself means something different to each of us, so take a moment to consider how it relates to you. Consider creating a ‘treat yourself jar’ filled with simple self care ideas. When in doubt, choose one randomly and commit to it! Treat yourself because you absolutely deserve it. 

I hope you enjoyed these simple self care ideas, and that you can use them to deepen the relationship you have to yourself. You are the one you’ve been waiting for- so treat yourself like the most special person in your life, because you are.