Befriending Boundaries

Understanding, creating, and honoring boundaries is one of the most important things we will learn in life. 

For so long in my young life, I struggled massively with this. Because I was recovering from years of trauma, I was caught in a toxic loop of people pleasing behavior, meaning that I was incapable of speaking my needs and advocating for myself. I didn't even understand what boundaries really were, and the word sounded dirty and wrong to me from my warped perspective. 

Over the years, I learned that boundaries are simply ways to protect ourselves, and that instilling them is how we can ensure that we are having our needs met in a healthy way. 

When I first began breaking out of this cycle of chronic people pleasing, I would experience feelings of intense guilt and shame anytime I said no or upheld one of my new boundaries. As I worked to courageously stand in my power, I also had to work through many fears. This is all part of the healing process. We must move through these feelings and understand that when we stop people pleasing, people will probably stop being pleased with us- AND THIS IS OKAY. 

We were not born to please others or to fit into their expectations of who we should be. We were born to be sovereign, empowered creators, operating from a place of self love and value and standing in our strength and worth! 

The only way to get to this place is by setting boundaries. 

Read on as I share healing journal prompts designed to help you get to the core of your needs, and find the strength to set powerful and protective boundaries:

  1. In what ways can I begin to love myself more? 
  2. What boundaries do I feel called to create and instill? Write about them without fear of judgment or considering how others may react. This is for YOU. 
  3. What (if any) traumas are asking to be healed within me now? How do these past traumas relate to the boundaries I do or don’t have? 
  4. What part of my life needs more space? What action can I take to create that space? 

As you move forward on this journey, remember that you are so loved and that healing takes time, but is so worth it. Be gentle with yourself and remember that your voice matters and your needs deserve to be met. 

Be strong, and stand behind your boundaries.